Ok...

…so it has gone beyond cyber. I admit it. It is almost surprising to me how much better the phone is, just is. Especially hours at a time! Everything in steps, sometimes big, sometimes small. Maybe leaps sometimes. Sorry, I just have to be cryptic here.

It is stunning weather. Sunny, bright bright bright, and layers of tropical blue upon blue.

A day reading my book

“He cannot believe it, but if his life has taught him one thing, it is that belief is optional.”

The cyberness of it all...

…I find strange. My life has gone so much into the cyber world. A world of shadows. A world where you can’t really connect, even when you really want to; communication without substance. You can’t look into each other’s eyes, see that person’s smile, touch them. Just go and do something real with them. For that there are words, many words. Some that truly go deep inside, that light paths, that take the mind on interesting journeys, that make you smile. But it is brief, sporadic bursts of some kind of strange link that is and isn’t there. And it can disappear all of a sudden into nothingness. Poof.

My current battle here is loneliness. And so into the cyber world I have gone. But does that make the being alone easier or harder? I can’t discuss with anyone, I can’t smile at them, laugh with them, hold them, go and do something fun with them, just hang with them. It is strange to create a small fantasy world, which is a substitute of images in the ether. I seem to be deciding to move away more from it now, though.

In Ungakum there was no cyber. Everything just seemed to come together there. The magic. A part of the universe collapsed around me, enveloped me. Made it all feel right. And very very real.